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sink or swim

It’s a quite fascinating idea when you think about it: Sink or swim. Are you going to be on the bottom or the top? Fail or succeed? Wimp out or (wo)man up? Defeat or be defeated?

Sometimes it takes those two drastic and opposing ideas to really make you realize what you are capable of doing.

It can obviously apply to a lot of the things you encounter in life (career, marriage, divorce, having children, uprooting your life, etc) but for time’s sake, I’m going to apply it to running today – just because it works!

Although I like to call myself a runner, I haven’t been one lately. I put it on the back burner and hope that the fire will spark itself. I say I want to run more, but when the act of doing comes into play, I back out.

Brittany wrote a brilliant post on the ‘hats’ we wear (which aren’t actual hats at all, but the different roles we play when we put on these invisible hats), and how it’s ok to wear no hats at times and just be yourself.

Sometimes I don’t even know what ‘myself’ means anymore. I haven’t spent a single night away from Nia since she was born. I literally never leave her side, even more so now that I don’t have school to go to for a couple of hours. And, I don’t know what it feels like to not be worrying about a little person all-day, everyday. 

Running was the only (little) sanity I could give myself and forget about all those things; take my hats off, per se! So why was I taking that enjoyment away from myself?

Oh ya, sink or swim.

If I wasn’t feeling 100% (aka tired, hungry, not in the ‘mood’ to run), then I wouldn’t want to do it. Because hey, after not running consistently for months, one should head out only feeling 100%. (I know, I make the absolute worst and irrational decisions sometimes.) I was sinking.

But then yesterday, I decided to swim.

I deserved a few free minutes to myself to enjoy doing something I love.

I needed a break from Nia just as much as she needed a break from me.

I decided to not feel guilty, or that I should have been doing something else (like making dinner instead of ordering take-out like we did), and just focused on me.

Running is really more of a mental game more than anything, which is so apparent when I caught myself thinking about irrelevant life stuff that I thankfully was able to force out of my mind! This was my time to just be. To not think. To be free. To swim.

Because it’s all about the perspective you put on sinking and swimming. Your choice to swim (whatever you apply it to) is often enough to succeed. Even if it is only for a 4.5 mile run.

Photo 2

Question: What is a moment you vividly remember where you decided to swim?

6 Responses to sink or swim

  1. I love this post and can definitely relate!! I waited a year and a half before I spent more than 8 hours (and my first night) away from my son! Running is my ME time as well! There are days I don’t feel up to it for sure but I always feel better after a good sweat session!!

    PS Speedy run! Great job mama :)
    Kaella (KaellaOnThRun) recently posted..My First Race- Tuesdays On The RunMy Profile

  2. Love, love, love this. I’m SO glad you were able to get out there and swim and ENJOY it. Keep that up, lady. You deserve it.
    Ashley @ My Food N Fitness Diaries recently posted..Currently (5th Edition)My Profile

  3. Good for you for getting out there! I’m finding it pretty tough right now to fit in exercise, even though I know I feel a MILLION times better when I do. As moms, it’s easy to give more than we have to give and sometimes a little recharge is what is best for everyone.

    And thanks for the link love friend :)
    Brittany (Healthy Slice of Life) recently posted..My Best Blogging TipsMy Profile

  4. Alex, my 22 year old daughter, and I started running together this summer. I love it, she’s learning to somewhat like it. We don’t talk, we think about what we want to do for our blog (yes, we run a vegan blog together!), and all kinds of other things. It’s our time to be together, and to just be. Take if from this old mom — NEVER feel guilty about taking time for you. It’s a necessary component to being the best mom that you can be.

    • Thanks so much for these words, Linda! That’s amazing that you and your daughter run together AND have a blog together!! I hope Nia’s ready for that when she’s older! haha

  5. I love this so much. It’s a tough one for us moms to get a handle on, but so important! Enjoy the swim–you deserve it! :)
    Kim @ Fittin Pretty recently posted..15 must-pin workouts (and when to use them)My Profile

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